Toxic Femininity - Let’s Talk about It.

Toxic Femininity. Let's talk about it.

I'm not talking about Kali and the sacred destructive feminine goddesses and archetypes.

I'm talking about the counter-part of the 'cult'ural chant of 'smash the patriarchy!' and toxic masculinity.

BUT FIRST --- Masculinity and Femininity are natural energies within each one of us - and they are not, in their natural states, toxic. Neither are we. Our natural state is vibrant health, happiness, and deep, wide, true connection - love, joy, and peace. It is also natural to have moments of rage, stress, anger, frustration, surprise, grief, sadness, challenge, etc. - all of these are parts of the human experience and are not 'toxic' either.

What becomes "toxic" is when our natural states become distorted by stress in our environment, and things become stuck or stagnant - this goes for the human body - and for our expressed archetypes & psyche - and whether or not we can *adapt* to the stress & heal, or if *they* begin to distort *our* expression of who we truly are.

Feminine energy is a lot of things. Loving, magnetic, nurturing, able to take a seed of something and multiply into something greater and new. She births new life, she flows, she feels, she expresses, she sings, she is a kin-keeper and sacred story-teller. She is soft, open, strong, loving, knowing, and trusting. She knows who she is. There is certainty in her step and innate sense of the natural provision available to her... Like a flower blossoming and opening, knowing the bee will come, allowing the phases & cycles of life to be as they are.

The feminine principle is magnetic, and brings energy downward to earth. 'Womb' energy. She is our 'manifesting current.'

The masculine principle is electric, and shoots energy upward. 'Phallic' energy. He is our 'liberating current.'

When the two currents weave together within us, they create vortices of *electro-magnetic* energy connected to our nerve centers and life expression. These are known as chakras.

... Fascinating how this may look like+connects a DNA 'spiral'

Distorted, toxic femininity has *trouble manifesting*, and she is *pissed* about it. She doesn't see/feel/have what she desires and is disconnected from, or experiences distortions in, 'the flow' of life, love, abundance, & Spirit. This makes her feel inherently unsafe and she is willing to do just about anything to regain what she perceives & feels as safety & control.

Distorted, toxic femininity presents as manipulation, distortions, projections, passive-aggressivity, posturing (costuming, imaging or imagining yourself to be something you're not), gossip, judgement, condemnation, controlling, rejecting, demanding, gas-lighting, withholding love, love-bombing, tongue-lashings, silent treatment, covert aggression and other tactics to 'do whatever it takes' to attempt to elicit/regain control (and the perception of safety).

Farther into the distortions, she forgets who she is and can even present as 'the death mother' - archetypically, and literally, and the late stages of this process. 'If I cannot manifest life/safety, than the alternative may (seem to) be...'

WE CAN WORK ON THIS. We must.

THIS IS A CALL FOR LOVE + HEALING, and deep, deep compassion. Not unlike the sacred medicine 'toxic masculinity' requires.

Before pointing the finger and demanding others change or listen or XYZ, I invite you to LOOK WITHIN and recognize that as a possible 'toxic feminine' distortion asking to be healed - IN YOU.

See her. And dive in there.

This is a high calling because, though it is much easier to see this in others, this is something possible within all of us, and as mentioned, it's often more 'covert.' If you see it in another, you are ready to confront it within.

We distort our own sacred power when we fail to acknowledge the distortions within us, and the ways we manipulate ourselves and others (or attempt to) in order to try to regain control and feel safe.

That's what the feminine wants. To feel and be safe, so that she can unfold, open, and blossom into her sacred be-ing ness. Not her doing-ness. Allowing the masculine to DO & TRANSMIT, and the feminine to BE & RECEIVE. And in her being the incredible love and nurturing and honoring and reverence and spirit move with ease and her gifts of manifestation unfold.

It's time, and we are ready to collectively heal 'her' within us.

It's her turn, she's been waiting to be seen and honored.

We need 'her.'

It's an inside job.

An YOU are your own healer.

Here for you.

P.S. A message from me to you, and an offering for affirmations for your own journey.

I honor the ways in which I have not felt safe, and the feminine energies in the people around me have not felt safe, the ways you have not felt safe... so much so that I, we, you couldn't adapt and have expressed distorted, toxic femininity within us and outside of us. This hurts us before it hurts anyone else, but it's covert, and can be harder to see and heal - which can make that wound hurt even more.

I honor the hurt.

I ask for forgiveness,

and I offer forgiveness.

I forgive myself for, and set myself free from, the imbalances, distortions, & toxicity of my own personal masculine and feminine energies - and the pain they have created pain for myself and others.

I also forgive others for the same, and liberate them from the bonds of the shared hurt. In love, I honor all involved. I choose peace, I choose healing, I choose Life.

P.P.S. I am not saying we do not have a patriarchal system. We do. However, I AM saying that the individuals within this system - are not, by nature toxic or 'the enemy' - the opposite is true. We humans individually and as a human family are the only way out. Please don't confuse the system and those who have been born within it as representatives as the system itself. Men are not toxic. Women are not toxic. We have grown up in toxic CULTure and that is what is available for healing - as that *system* and CULTure are dying - this *individual* HEALING will create the FUTURE and the NEXT collective, collaborative energy. SO LET’S GET TO WORK.